by Sri Regine Lherisson-Bey
At the start of every new year, many people feel the self-imposed pressure to fulfill their new year resolutions. Within a few weeks or even just a few days of operating under such pressure, it is easy for exhilarating anticipation to turn into a letdown. This is due to a sense of unreachable expectations. As disappointment sets in and the resolutions are being abandoned, a person walks the slippery slope of being at risk of losing self-confidence.
The above holds true mostly for people who, in good faith, wish to work on a weight reduction program, bodybuilding or exercise regimen, alcohol or smoking cessation program, and any type of behavior modification strategy.
This can be a particularly real concern for people with issues such as ADD/ADHD.
There are ways to prevent the letdown that usually leads to the letting go of one’s previously anticipated resolutions. The following steps will be of value, so read on.
- Do Self-assessment.
At the first signs of discouragement or self-doubt about your ability to fulfill your resolution, proceed to an assessment of the situation, as well as the possible causes and effects of the discouraging feelings.
Assess the authenticity of your motivation to reach the particular goal you have set for yourself. Ask yourself questions, e.g: “Is my reward ego-based, or is it a life-affirming goal that will enhance my life and that of other people?”
When the goal you’re looking to reach is based on vanity or egocentricity, you are likely to experience some form of subconscious guilt that may lead to self-sabotage.
If your goal has genuine merit, you have very good chances of making the letdown a temporary moment of discouragement that will soon be replaced with positive reinforcement.
- Notice the shortcomings in your self-talk.
Sometimes, regardless of your good intentions, you still end up with negative self-talk. There might be a tendency to sink into self-deprecating mode and say things like: “I kind of knew it would not work: my goal was too good to be true.”
Very often, this negativity is reinforced by people you converse with who happen to resonate with negative thinking. This type of people cannot and will not be a support system for you, especially during a time of shift when you are likely to feel more emotionally vulnerable. Naysayers will never provide you with the much-needed encouragement you require at this time. They cannot give you what they do not have.
- Purge negative thinkers off your life.
Surround yourself with positive thinkers and other people who have overcome challenges similar to the ones you’re looking to solve. There is strength in numbers. The larger your support group, the quicker and better you are likely to bounce back from a lack of motivation if the people from that group have the moral strength to support you. By detoxifying your life from negative individuals looking to pull you down rather than uplift you, you will prevent a further injection of toxicity in your plans.
If your support system is restricted, go for quality instead of quantity. For quality care, choose a therapeutic support system based on organizational integrity, unconditional ministration, and professional expertise.
- Stay away from naysayers.
So many people are complacent in their mediocrity that they absolutely abhor seeing anyone do better than them, even though they would not even make the slightest effort to improve. Such people do not have the kind of self-confidence that it takes to self-improve. Even though they have no intention to shift through self-improvement, they do not want to see you improve yourself either. They will continuously pepper their conversations with loser kind of talk showing you why you’ll never achieve your goals. They say so because they know they can’t. They might even go as far as saying to you: “You’ve failed? I did not expect you to succeed. Nobody succeeds at your type of goal. Your standards are too high, so wake-up buddy!” The world is littered with losers acting comfortable and jolly while telling you how you can’t do this or that – just because they can’t. They operate by the ‘glass is empty’ syndrome and listening to them can be an exercise in sheer insanity as well as an invitation to a loss of self-confidence.
Oftentimes, the speed at which you reach your goals will be a reflection of the quality of the people you spend the most time with. For your own sake, just detoxify your life from toxic individuals causing you discouragement and holding you back from reaching your goals.
- Simplify your life.
At this time when you’re looking to make your breakthrough, an overload of anything in your life can hold you back or knock you down. Work on letting go of negative, toxic emotions, excess mental and physical baggage, as well as unproductive thoughts.
As you are tackling your new goal, work on letting go of thoughts that are not serving your joy and higher expectations. Do the same for demands from other people that are eating your time and draining you. Also, and very importantly, let go of clutter in your life.
By way of an analogy for the necessity of doing that, picture yourself endeavoring to climb Mount Everest. You would want to start your journey with minimal baggage, and only carry the absolute necessities. Focus on your priorities to simplify your life.
- Exercise physically and mentally.
Science has proven that both physical and mental exercises are beneficial. Not only you benefit from an intake of oxygen and enrich your blood, but also you bring more blood flow to the brain. This helps the thinking process and encourages higher productivity. Even if your exercise consists in walking around the block, consider it.
Mental exercises such as meditation or image streaming can benefit you on many levels, supporting your higher vision for yourself and future.
Also, eat for health of body and mind: consume fruits, vegetables, quality protein, and take nutritional supplements that support your body and mental states as well as reverse the side effects of oxidative stress.
- Focus on the end goal and begin with the end in mind.
Just like you require the power of focus to bring any worthy life goal to fruition, e.g. completing a college degree, reaching a level of professional proficiency in your career, your new year resolutions also require focus. By applying the above tips, focus should be easier to practice.
An easy way to reach an easy level of focus without having it turn into a burnout process for you is to focalize your attention on the pleasantness of the outcome. By seeing and feeling the end goal in your visualization, you can get your mind accustomed to anticipate the good things that bring enjoyment instead of dread. This way, you are more eager to go through the process that your goals require to reach their level of fruition.
As you keep practicing these steps, you maximize your chances of reaching the fulfillment of your new year resolutions. When you remember that because it is practice that brings the level of proficiency and effortlessness in anything, you will feel the impetus and do what it takes to make your important goal a reality.
For more information, check: https://wholenessconnection.org/welcome
Sri Regine Lherisson-Bey is a Mind-Body Therapist, Wellness Coach, and Author the Kindle bestseller HOW TO DETOXIFY YOUR LIFE NATURALLY as well as the weight management program GET SLIM EFFORTLESSLY that has evolved from CD to an instructional picture book and eBook.